A Single Tomb: One-shot Play Report
Play Report: Egyptian Tomb Robbing Gone Awry Date: 4/17/2026
Nehasy the ruthless hero, Starlit the vampiric acolyte, and myself, Dame Protesila the Ghoulish, wild nymph, arrive in the valley of priests in search of unplundered tombs and treasures. We were warned no one has returned from this place, but I am built different.
We face a wide set of double doors carved into the cliff face, cavern ceiling held aloft by four columns. Nahesy used his big strong arms to toss a rope and grappling hook up to another cave entrance 50’ off the ground, outside on the cliff wall as a secondary ingress point. I wink at him. I am handed an electric lamp, and we use it to examine the doors to the tomb. The doors are carved with a long inscription, far too long for me to remember, but also with a prayer addressed to the Opener of the Way. The Starlit takes out a sick synthesizer and plays a funky tune, chanting the prayer to the accompaniment. The glyphs on the door flash brightly, and I push the doors open.
The loud keening that we heard from outside the doors grows brighter as we peer into the dim crypt doors before us. A great beast stands chained inside, between two pillars, as though just shorn of its great mane. It is a great humanoid figure, with the head replaced by the rotting skull of a donkey. From its mouth utter curses, wheezes, growls, and moans of fear and pain. On the wall behind it, we spot the twinkling of jewels, set into the wall in the form of a ten-pointed star.
Seeing an opportunity, I step up with my dagger to give the valuables a new home while the others keep watch and examine a corridor that exits this chamber to the east. As I do so, the beast begins to growl louder, and its mouth opens to vomit forth evil breath. Sensing the danger, we dash for the door, but not before I pull the pin on my grenade and drop it at the feet of the beast. We rush out the doors and the Starlit ceases his ritual chanting, allowing the doors to slam shut. Even through the thick stone, the three of us are hit with a wave of evil energy, damaging us all.
We brush ourselves off and retreat back out to the cliff face, to try our second mode of ingress. Starlit and I climb the rope, and then use it to pull Nehasy in his heavy armor up so the rope doesn’t break on the sharp cave lip. A tunnel continues to the north from the high cave, so we cautiously assume our marching order and continue forward. I am afforded a great view of Nehasy’s arms. Our tunnel deposits us in a large chamber holding a black basalt sarcophagus, with another tunnel extending to the north. From the west down a set of stairs, we hear the wailing of the injured beast, and see that the grenade shattered one of the chains by which it was bound, with the other shackle glowing golden. I speak a soft sigh and Blind the doorway so that the beast cannot see us, and we retreat to examine the sarcophagus.
It is empty, though we can discern enough glyphs to know this is the burial chamber of the wife of Ameniseb, whose name we recognized from the doors to the tomb. In a small alcove behind a curtain of beads, Nehasy finds 4 urns and smashes them open, revealing 6 golden ceremonial daggers, a rolled up scrap of crocodile skin, and a dozen small clay pigs. Starlit and I split the daggers, Nehasy takes the pigs, and I examine the scroll and discover another Magic Word upon it, “ask.” We carefully make our way down to the beast below, and I ask it “How way we appease you?” In a rasping, tortured voice, the beast replies “Set me free.”
We use the ceremonial daggers to break the last chain, and the beast whispers “I am free at last from my deceitful husband’s curse,” before crumbling to dust.
Sensing our job is finished here, I go retrieve the rest of the jewels from the wall and we escape. As we exit the tomb doors, an uneasy tension descends as we catch our breath. I watch the heaving of Nehasy’s chest and the sweat as it drips from his brow. My lip quivers. As I am about to speak, a bestial mask covers his face and he lunges for me to steal my treasure and escape! Fool, great muscled fool that he was, Nehasy did not see the Starlit creep up behind him to suck his livid blood. As they grapple, I speak a word that sets my feet to quickness, and fled across the desert. Nehasy followed. Upon a great jetpack he rode, shooting at me from the sky. My attempt to turn him to Wood failed, so I flip him the bird, suck down my Miniaturizing Fluid from my pack, and hide under some rocks. Nehasy lands, cannot find me. I hear him mutter “But I’m a ruthless hero” as he sadly turns the muzzle of his energy rifle to his own head.